Some exciting news! The book I have been working on for years is out in the world today. It is for everyone who has ever cared for another person —which, as it happens, is most of humanity. If you are looking for a new way to think about parenthood or caregiving, something that raises up the experience without avoiding all that makes it difficult --including the lack of societal support --this book is for you.
And if you read this book and connect with it, please reach out. The thing I want most is for this book to make us believe that our care stories are worthy of curiosity. I am curious about yours!
“When You Care” is a deep dive into how caring for another person changes caregivers and the world for the better. It’s a bold call to reimagine parenting and caregiving as a big, meaningful act that exhausts us, sure, but also stirs us in the most profound ways. Henry David Thoreau went to his cabin to learn how to “really live”--I think caregivers can learn just as much by spending time with their families or friends and caring for them.
The book was born of my spending over a decade writing about the need for more support for parents and caregivers during which relatively little progress was made. I realized that our lack of paid leave and everything else wasn’t just about politics. Rather, it stems from a deeply rooted obsession with independence, and a fundamental lack of curiosity about care and the people who give it.
At the same time, all the talk about “leaning in” and “whether moms can be artists” had given me a sense that I had to protect myself from the inevitably conquering force that is motherhood. I tried…but motherhood changed me anyway, challenging me in ways I hadn’t anticipated and then began to explore. I realized that I, a professional feminist writer, didn’t really value care either. I was blind to the many ways it is a deeply ethical and creative experience.
So I decided to dig in, and discover how care was minimized in the broader culture (sometimes by sentimentalization, other times by diminishment or complaint; often by the patriarchy, sometimes by feminists) and all the ways care provokes and nourishes us and the world around us-- philosophically, psychologically, politically, theologically, and more. Care is worth billions to our economy, and even more to our conflicted souls.
I had the good fortune of discussing the book with
which you can read here.There is much more in the way of interviews and excerpts coming soon, which I will share in digest form on here from time to time — as well as on Instagram and Twitter.
Take Care! Give Care!
With care,
Elissa